I was coaching a c-suite woman the other day who works for a startup that’s in hyper growth mode.
She told me she is very worried that her relationships at work are too strained. When I asked about the root of the problem, she said everyone seems to want her to slow down; however, she said she barely has time to go to the bathroom during the day let alone stop and say hi to someone. I wondered aloud what some patience toward others might achieve. She looked at me and said, “I don’t feel like I have room for patience with everything I have on my plate. Patience is a four-letter word for me right now.”
We all know that relationships can be difficult or at least we can go through growing pains in our relationships. I’m not usually one to turn to patience to solve things, because I often run short on it; however, I live with someone who is the most patient person I have ever met and I learned from him that one of the best methods we have for making every relationship less stressful and more enjoyable is to show a little patience. I’ve heard patience described as what we lack for the driver in front of us and demand from the driver behind us.
In truth, patience is nothing more than time and I like the word time. Think about these examples.
Time before we say something:
We can all think of a time when someone said something in haste to us. We know how we felt and how deeply we were hurt. We know that wound doesn’t go away quickly. The next time you find yourself losing patience with another, take a moment to remind yourself of how you felt when someone didn’t take the time to think through their words first and then take some time to gather your thoughts before you speak.
Time before moaning and groaning:
Patience takes time, but no more time than the showing of anger or stomping or yelling or whining or complaining. A little patience can often resolve a conflict that a loss of patience will only escalate.
Time to let things run their course:
You get a chicken by hatching an egg, not by smashing it. Some things require a certain amount of time. Losing patience only hurts ourselves and won’t speed up the process. Work on cultivating healthy relationships, instead of issuing orders to others.
Time to smile instead of frown; the time to wink instead of snarl:
How much time does it really take to give someone a small nod or a pat on the back? We never stop to think about how little of our time can make such a big difference in how we make another feel.
The lack of patience is the key to so much unhappiness and grief in this world, when all it
requires is a little time on our part. One of the simplest ways to build stronger relationships and
bring more happiness into our lives is by becoming a little more patient. Showing someone
patience is really giving to another that which we wish to receive.
Work with me
Do you feel like you’re burning the candle on both ends and have no time for yourself, let alone others? Or maybe you’re not sure how to be a better ally or colleague to those around you because the relationships are so strained. No matter where you’re at, I can help. Click here and schedule a time for us to talk.