I coach an incredible woman who is a leader in cybersecurity for a Fortune 500 company. Her list of accomplishments are a mile long.
Equally as long are the accolades others constantly share about her, yet, she came to me because she needed help building her confidence. She felt like she had outgrown her position and was ready to interview for a promotion, but when she talked about her achievements, she was convinced she was not talking about herself. She said it was like having an out-of-body experience.
Confidence issues can be brought about by many different reasons and over time they become so commonplace that we just expect them to happen. My client had been in the same position for eight years and had three different bosses.
Her second boss constantly told her she could do nothing right. Despite meeting all of her goals every quarter, she started to think she was a failure. This went on for a few years until she got a new boss. Her new boss would point out her successes. However, she actually believed he must be talking about someone else, since she had come to believe she wasn’t successful. As a result, positions came open that she was more than qualified for, but she would not put in for them.
I put together a list of some of the tips that came out of coaching this amazing client to be her confident self again.
Surround yourself with positivity
Positive, enthusiastic and passionate people are contagious. Surround yourself with them and allow their confidence to brush off on you. By being around positive people we will learn how they confidently deal with things in their lives that would ordinarily throw them off course.
Create a new image
This is a fantastic tip that will leave you feeling great. Go out and get a whole new image that oozes with confidence, new clothes, new hairstyle or better posture. When you have this new image you can level up to it with confidence and allow the new you to be born. My client did just this, because she realized that she stopped investing in herself under her second boss. With a new wardrobe, she felt her confidence pick up a bit.
Watch what you say to yourself
We all talk to ourselves as we think about things. We say things like, ‘Oh I can’t do that!’ This type of inner talk can be quite negative as it closes our mind to finding a solution. Instead saying something like, ‘How could I do that’, allows us to use our brains for thinking and ultimately finding a solution.
Make a change
Find a new job or change up your inner circle. If you find that an element of your life is causing you to lack confidence – change it! I love that my client came to me because she felt like she was ready for a career change, even though she didn’t know how to make it happen. Through coaching, she opened her mind and consciously decided that she actually wanted to leave her employer, because she needed to surround herself with coworkers who were supportive of her.
I hope that you put this small collection of tips to good use and get the confidence that you deserve and desire.